In Which Blaine Is Terrified of Spiders
by lellathellama
Summary: There is a spider on Blaine's wall. Kurt is an evil boyfriend.


Kurt was dancing around his room, belting out the last notes to Adam Lambert's 'For Your Entertainment' when he heard his phone ring. Pausing the music, he reached to his bedside table to grab his phone, and noticed he had four missed calls, all from Blaine. _Shit shit shit oh my god what happened to him _was all that was running through his mind as he hit the green 'accept' button. "Blaine! Are you okay?"

"_Kurt!" _Blaine shrieked back, his voice higher pitched than usual. Kurt's spine went stiff, and he felt the blood drain from his face.

"Oh my god Blaine! Are you okay! What happened? Blaine baby you need to tell me what happened? Where are you?" Kurt was growing steadily more concerned, and he already had his shoes on and keys in hand by the time Blaine answered him back.

"_I-I'm in my room. At my house. You have to come help me, Kurt!" _Blaine sounded as though he were close to tears. Kurt threw open the front door and sprinted to his car.

"Blaine! Blaine, calm down. You need to tell me what happened. Please, Blaine. Are you hurt?" Kurt tried to remain the composed one of the pair, to ensure that neither of them really lost it. He tried to appear cool on the outside, for Blaine, but on the inside his mind was reeling.

"_N-no, I'm fine-" _Kurt sank back into the seat of his Navigator, relief washing over him.

"Thank god. Ok, what happened, Blaine? I'm on my way over right now, but you need to tell me what's got you so… scared," Kurt spoke.

"_I-I was making myself a snack downstairs, and I walked into my room, and I went to l-lay on my b-bed and there was a spider! There's a spider Kurt come help me!" _ Blaine spoke quickly and in a high-pitched voice.

Kurt thanked every holy being imaginable that he hadn't yet hit the gas pedal, because he would have caused an accident. He did, however, hear the pop his jaw made as it dropped as fiercely as it did.

"_Kurt..? Are you there?" _Blaine spoke in a whisper.

Kurt inhaled. "Blaine…," he started, trying to clarify, "are you telling me that the reason you are so worked up, the reason I ran out of my house and into _the public eye _with _sweatpants and a t-shirt on _is because you saw a **spider**." Kurt pinched the bridge of his nose, trying to keep himself calm.

"…_yes?_" Blaine replied, still sounding frightened, but Kurt was fairly certain it wasn't just because of the spider now. "_…I'm sorry, Kurt. Can you come kill it? Please? For me?" _And Blaine sounded so damn downtrodden that Kurt sighed, turned the keys in the ignition, and hit the gas pedal.

"You're so damn lucky I love you, Blaine. So lucky. Just remember that. I'll be there in 15 minutes," and with that, Kurt hung up the phone, and sped down the road, laughing internally.

15 minutes later, Kurt barely stepped one foot out of his car when Blaine launched himself out of the front door and hurled himself at Kurt, wrapping his arms around Kurt's neck. "KURT!" he exclaimed, "Thank god you're here! C'mon! Go get it! Please!" Kurt chuckled a little despite himself, his boyfriend was just too adorable sometimes. He pressed a kiss to the top of Blaine's hair.

"Yes, I'm here. Let's go, wimp, I'll go take care of the big SCARY spider." Kurt removed his hands from where they had landed on Blaine's hips, and instead reached for one of Blaine's to tug him inside behind him. He felt Blaine resist. "What now?" he inquired.

"I don't wanna go back in there, Kurt. What if it's poisonous? And it bites me? I'll die, Kurt!" Blaine tried to pry his hand from Kurt's grip, but Kurt was having none of that.

"So you're sending me in there instead? What a good boyfriend you are," he replied sarcastically, dragging Blaine behind him up the stairs. Blaine finally conceded, and allowed Kurt to direct him the way to his room. "Alright, where is it, Blaine?" Kurt turned around and looked at Blaine, whose eyes had gone wide in fear. He gripped Kurt's hand tighter.

"It was on my bed, right over there," he explained, pointing to a spot near the pillows. "But now… Oh god Kurt it ran away! Now what! What if it's hiding under the sheets and attacks me while I'm asleep! Where is it, Kurt?" Kurt laughed again, and pointed to the wall behind the bed's headboard.

"It's right there, silly. Now go sit on the floor over there while I take care of… your problem like the macho man I am." He released Blaine's hand and reached for the kleenex box on the nightstand next to the bed. He pulled a tissue out and reached for the wall, and, just because he was a horrible person, he shrieked, dropping his hand as if, well, as if he'd been bit.

Blaine screamed like a girl.

Kurt looked back at the noise and promptly dropped to the bed at the sight of Blaine's face, overcome with laughter. "The look- on your face- priceless," he wheezed, hardly able to control himself. Blaine glared.

"I hate you," he ground out.

Kurt was finally able to control of himself. "If you hate me so much, maybe I won't kill the spider," he said with a smirk.

"KURT I LOVE YOU I LOVE YOU SO MUCH YOU'RE THE BEST BOYFRIEND EVER I DON'T KNOW WHAT I'D BE WITHOUT YOU YOU'RE PERFECT I LOVE YOU" Blaine blurted out.

Kurt giggled. "That's what I thought."

He clambered to his knees, and pulled himself closer to the wall. He reached up, and with one swipe, crushed the bug in the kleenex. "That's what you get for messing with the boyfriend of Kurt Hummel," he spoke to the kleenex, pleased with himself.

"Kurt! You did it! You're the best!" Blaine yelled, leaping to his feet with a huge smile on his face and making to bear hug Kurt, until he noticed that Kurt was still holding the kleenex, arm outstretched, with a mischievous glint in his eyes. Blaine backed up, stumbling over his own feet.

"You wouldn't."

"This is what you get for making me wear my pajamas in public."

"Kurt, I'm warning you."

Kurt advanced forward. "Not my fault you made me think you were dying." he reached his arm forward one more inch towards Blaine, and Blaine lurched back, out of his reach.

"Don't you DARE, Kurt!" he yelled, his face torn between fear and intimidation.

"Or. What."

And with that, Kurt sprinted forward, tackling Blaine onto the ground and straddling him. He used one hand to pin Blaine's wrists over top of his head, and held the other tauntingly in front of Blaine's face. It was a hard position to manage, seeing as he couldn't stop giggling, but he did his best.

"I won't kiss you at all today! At all," Blaine warned, trying to wriggle his way out of Kurt's grasp.

"Meh, I've managed before," Kurt replied, the grin still in place on his face as he moved his arm closer to Blaine (he wasn't actually going to do it, but it was fun having the power in HIS hands, for once).

"I won't have sex with you for a week!" Blaine tried, squirming desperately.

"I have a right hand," Kurt answered, his hand moving even closer to Blaine, the kleenex scrunched up in a ball.

"A MONTH! A WHOLE MONTH, KURT. SO HELP ME GOD," Blaine gave it one last shot, squeezing his eyes closed. Kurt paused. He tossed the tissue to the garbage can, and moved his face down, lips only a fraction of an inch from Blaine's. Blaine, whose eyes remained closed, thought the presence was the tissue, and he looked as if he were about to cry.

"You win this time," Kurt breathed against Blaine's lips, and he closed the distance with a kiss. The kiss wasn't by any means chaste, and Blaine quickly responded, using his tongue to pry Kurt's mouth open as soon as he realized what was going on. They broke the kiss to catch their breath.

"I really hate you," Blaine whispered, his breath hitting Kurt's lips and making Kurt shiver with anticipation. Kurt smirked, a little breathless.

"No you don't. I just saved your life, remember?"

Blaine smiled. "Yeah, you're right. I love you, actually." "I love you too." "My hero," Blaine breathed, and any other thoughts were promptly cut off by the feel of Kurt's lips on his once again.


End file.
